Amy was jealous of people who got married, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to get married. It wasn’t the party or the presents or the patently unrealistic promise of eternal love she craved, not at all. Well, maybe it was the party, slightly. It was more—well, it was a lot of things. For one thing, people who got married seemed to be granted special exemption from the otherwise ironclad law that after you stopped being a child, you had to give up your belief in magic. The spells and talismans of marriage—the vows, the rings, the veil—retained their mythic power, over Amy at least. It was maddening. But she couldn’t stop herself from caring, from being curious and jealous and moved when she saw these symbols, no matter how much she agreed with the pundits who attacked the institution on pragmatic and feminist and philosophical grounds, and no matter how many novels she read about the inevitable end of love. —
Friendship, Emily Gould (via everythingiread)
lol I can’t believe I’m getting married next weekend. I mean obviously I’m not Amy but still.
Then I asked: Is this rape?
One friend said, yes, it was. Another said she wasn’t sure. We talked about why and why not. Then we discussed why it was bad to discuss what the author could have done differently (“She’s probably already thought about it enough as is.” “It isn’t fair to do this because you never know how you might act in a situation like this— you may surprise yourself with how complicit you may be because your body and mind can shut down. “) We talked about why it was good to discuss what the author could have done differently (“It could give someone who finds themselves in a similar situation the tools to respond in a way that brings them to less harm.”) Then we talked about how terrible it was that ALL of us had something similar happen to us. At how sad it was that this scenario was commonplace. At how badly young people and older people needed to have a serious conversation about consent. Our opinions varied some, but as a whole we were coming from the same place. It was refreshing, and it made me feel a whole lot less confused about how this whole thing got started in the first place.
But it made me a lot sadder to think about what this had spun into. People telling people how to feel. People bullying people online. People sticking up for one victim at the expense of another. People who want essentially the same thing attacking each other, telling people that they’re terrible, that they’re misogynists, bad feminists, rape sympathizers. Dozens of men — many of them my friends — being accused of being sexual predators or rapists, with the accusations oftentimes being based on little or nothing. Dozens of other men afraid that they would be accused of something, simply for having sex or making out or having e-flirtations with a female writer in the community. People delighting in the fall of other people, seemingly happy to exploit their status of victim in order to help out their “personal brand.”
I don’t know what the solution is, all I know is this isn’t it. — JULIET ESCORIA ON THE WWW:
Are you in NY? Are you in NY and NOT planning on going to this tomorrow. Because… if that’s the case, 1) weird. 2) you need to pretty much change plans immediately.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2014 AT 7:00PM
Celebrate the release of Chloe Caldwell’s (author of Legs Get Led Astray) debut novella, Women (Short Flight/Long Drive). Joining her to read will be the lovely women writers Emily Gould (author of the new novel Friendshipand memoir And the Heart Says Whatever), Domenica Ruta (author of bestselling memoir With or Without You), and Ramona Emerson (associate editor at Allure magazine). Hosted by Molly Oswaks.
(via “Women” by Chloe Caldwell: Book Release and Reading - Events — Housing Works)
I just wrote something like this in an email to friends who told me the latest (I’m off twitter), which is apparently that Ed Champion made a suicidal gesture and is in Bellevue (not confirmed.)
I have a hard time even talking about how terrible the week that he published that rant was for me. A lot of people have tried to tell me that the net effect was positive for my book, but it put me in a position of talking about that rant instead of talking about the book. I hate that. I hate that that happened. I’ll never get that week or month or set of opportunities back; he poisoned them all. The worst part is that as cartoonishly evil and misogynistic and mentally ill as he is, there are still people who are like “well, it was a book review.” “Critics are allowed to call someone a bad writer.” Or worse, that it was a “subtweet war” or a “literary feud.” It was none of those things. It was an attack on women, meant to make us feel threatened and fundamentally unsafe in the online and physical spaces we inhabit. It is so bonkers that we even have to point that out or defend that point of view still, now, in 2014.
I felt fear doing events around publication. Not stage fright, fear for my physical safety. Instead of planning celebrations I was arranging with bookstores and my publisher for adequate security at events. I felt worried that the location of my apartment had been revealed in so many profiles. It’s not like I experienced physical trauma or was tortured but I felt under attack. This wasn’t something that “happened on the internet” or something that could have been avoided by “just unplugging.” Talking to readers, doing events, and promoting books online is my job.
I still haven’t sorted out what kind of damage was done.
Gabrielle Bell | Truth Is Fragmentary
So great to see one of my faves, author, and co-owner @emilybooks. Emily Gould stopped to see me at @vainbeautyworld during her visit to Seattle from NYC. We added some layers and shape to her hair as she grows it long… #emilybooks #layeredhaircut 💗 (at VAIN)
If you are live seattle or environs and you need a haircut (or even if like me you are just visiting) YOU NEED TO SEE CARLY.
I definitely tried to write a book that had some wit to it so it wouldn’t just be a horror show. I wouldn’t have been able to write it if I didn’t, much less ask people to read it. But the humor is reserved directed toward the police, or the do-gooding women who remind me of people out of the 1800s. The criticism of the book has mostly been from people trying to qualify my right to tell this story on that trajectory. It’s not a story of abject victimhood, and it’s not my funny-wacky-time-as-a-sex-worker story. That was the most radical thing I could think of to do: to make it ordinary. — Emily Books: “The most radical thing I could think of to do was to make it ordinary”: Tyler Coates Interviews Melissa Gira Grant
How does my work differ from others in its genre?
I don’t know. I mean maybe there’s just more food in my books than in other people’s novels? — Home No. 5: Chain letter
Kathleen Hale tagged me in this chain letter thing and I love Kathleen’s writing and can’t wait to read No One Else Can Have You so I did it.
Today is my one full day at home between trips so I am trying to do a lot of baseline life maintenance stuff, like laundry and cleaning and moving files around on my computer and trying to get health insurance. In order to try and sell the film/TV rights to Friendship I’m supposed to put together a little proposal about how I would like the putative TV show to be, which would probably take 30 minutes if I could just make myself sit down and do it. I am still trying to be ambitious about my recently published book even though most people are on vacation. It’s hard to stay enthusiastic about promoting your book, even if you like your book and some other people do too. There’s a sense that nothing you do will ever be enough and that there’s something crucial you’re forgetting at all times. I’m also meeting with Ruth about Emily Books's August, September and November titles later in the day. I was going to also try to get my armpits waxed but now that seems like a foolish dream.
Oh, you mean like “have I started another novel yet?” Lol.
Limiting books by enforcing strictly defined “genres” and having books compete with other books in that “genre” is silly and book marketing is flawed in general. But instead of going into that here I will limit myself to pointing out that in his recent episode of KCRW’s Bookworm podcast, Edward St. Aubyn said the word “genre” and it gave me goosebumps. He said it like this: “sshhhanrrrr(whisper of “uh”).” I can’t even express how well he said it. I would like a .wav file of Edward St. Aubyn saying genre as a ringtone or something to fall asleep to at night.
I can’t write anything else. If I could write GRRM-style epics that take place in an Otherworld I would totally be doing that, trust.
I don’t write anything for a long time and I feel guilty and bad. Then I write some. Then (repeat).
I like to write in a library because just having a lot of other books around is inspiring. I also like to have deadlines for a lot of other things and to feel a certain amount of financial pressure. Well, I don’t “like” it but I seem to need it. Ugh, will someone switch brains with me?
That was fun! I miss my therapist. The next person I’m tagging for this thing is Jami Attenberg. Jami, I hope you don’t mind!