my first tattoo was a first date. that sounds like a terrible idea. but it wasn’t.
my junior year of college, i had two classes (one of which was GAELIC, a more stupid choice than any tattoo i could’ve ended up with) with this good looking, sweaty bike messenger i saw occasionally at the…
we will send it to you wherever you are..email us:
and place your order!!
featuring contributions by: Elizabeth Spiridakis, Marisa Meltzer, me, Jocelin Donahue (The House of the Devil), The Arab Parrot, Jaimie Warren (photography), Gavin McInnes, Doree Shafrir, Emily Gould, Lesley Arfin, Spencer Tweedy (Jeff Tweedy’s son), Tavi Gevinson, Jon Caramanica, Brendan Donnelly, Sven Barth, Carlen Altman, and so many more!
Why do I spend so much time wallowing in insecurity about my book-in-progress (i.e., does this sound too much like X-Men? Does the protagonist’s name have too many syllables?), when I should be basking in the irrefutable fact of my unwritten novel’s superiority over Tyra Banks’s unwritten Modelland?
It’s enough that I just wrote “WHATEVER YOU WRITE WILL BE UNDENIABLY SUPERIOR TO MODELLAND” on a Post-It note and affixed it above my desk. THERE IS JUST NO WAY YOU ARE WRONG IN THIS ASSUMPTION, SELF.
Remember: “WHATEVER YOU WRITE WILL BE UNDENIABLY SUPERIOR TO MODELLAND”
Not to shit all over everything, but of course the corollary to this is that WHATEVER YOU WRITE WILL SELL EXPONENTIALLY WORSE THAN MODELLAND. Also that YOU WILL GET PAID AT LEAST 10X LESS FOR YOUR BOOK THAN TYRA BANKS IS GETTING PAID FOR MODELLAND. Oh, and also, TYRA BANKS WILL NOT EVEN HAVE TO WRITE A WORD OF MODELLAND, SHE PROBABLY WON’T EVEN HAVE TO READ IT! Not to mention YOUR PUBLISHER WILL…
Let me stop before I get in trouble here! But now you have a good idea of what the thousands of Post-its affixed above my desk say! (JK— I don’t have a desk.)
I got very emotional when I read in Us Weekly that Kate Gosselin was exercising compulsively because she was upset that her new book, I Just Want You To Know, had “only” sold 10,000 copies. Don’t worry, I didn’t get so upset that I started exercising compulsively. But whenever you start to get mad that a writer — even a writer you really hate — has been allowed to publish a book, please take a moment to consider that the literary careers of Lauren Conrad, Laura Bush, and Karl Rove are inevitably going much better than his.
I think it’s high time that these “communities” got more recognition. Just this morning, someone in a completely different state, thousands of miles away from me told me that people in her office, who I don’t know/have never met, who don’t comment and aren’t FB friends or any of that… were “talking” about me. ME. And my comments. That is just a little mindblowing.
Plus, you should see the emails I get. It’s pretty cool to think you’re POV impacts people, and I no longer feel the need to be embarrassed or “shamed” because it’s just in the medium of a “comment”. I’ve always considered this the modern day soap-box. Look, if Harvey Milk had the internet in his day, he would have WORKED this shit to get his message out.
"It’s pretty cool to think you’re POV impacts people"